Children and their forts…

I walk out into my bedroom one afternoon after sorting the kitchen post lunch and realize that all the pillows have vanished. I also could not see the sheets. I walked into the dining area and see that the chairs are gone. Something rings a bell, and I know I should walk into my kids bedroom. What I see shocks me, but yes after 5 seconds, a huge smile overcomes all my emotions and is plastered on my face. The whole room has been transformed. The bed and chairs (that have been pulled from the dining area) are now acting as pillars to hold up all the sheets. Inside this little area I see pillows thrown around, and a little lamp pulled in. Both my kids are lying down and reading books. Both of them have “designed” their corners. One side has dolls set out, and the other side has Star Wars books. 🙂

I am yet to come across an individual who has not made a small little fort of their own as a kid. Its amazing how math and science needs to be passed on from generation to generation through books, classes and lectures but this finds a way across generations. Almost like its been transferred through our DNA. Each generation manages to make it.

I recently started reading more about it. So apparently I am not the first person who has been intrigued by the children and the forts they build (surprise surprise). Apparently as a phenomenon this is being studied for a long time now. Studies have found that it is a physical, developmental and psychological need in a child to build his/her own fort. It provides a child with her own space. It helps her create something thereby instilling the feeling of independence and self reliance. It also gives them a sense of freedom and lays the foundation of decision making skill development. 

In todays times such forts are even more important. With Covid-19 imprisoning us in our homes the children feel the need for their own space. They need an area away from the authority of adults. They need the walls to demarcate themselves in the now often overcrowded house. The fact that the walls are made of cloth and thus flimsy does not take away the fact that they do provide a division from the outer world. The outer world is often a place that the child has no or little control over. Its what lies inside these fort walls that the child can structure and move as they want. It also thus provides them with a sense of power. 

In recent times many parents have reported that their children have built forts and ask parents to let them be. Mental health workers all over the world are requesting parents to not destroy or break (read fold away) such forts. They are performing many functions in making our little warriors fight and win the battles they are faced in todays times.

Think back of the times when we were children and how much fun these forts and the games we played inside them was. Thus irrespective of your child age please let them build forts. Let their forts stay. And enjoy as this is a symbol that your child is growing and learning to manage the world around himself/herself.

To the memory of the fort I used to build under my dining table in our home in Delhi.

Some activities for under 5 year olds…..

Dear all…..

Hoping you and everyone in your family is safe. With children home all the time I am going to create lists of activities we can do with our children. These activities will be age appropriate but please understand that these are not rigid limits. Some children who are younger may use these too and older children may still enjoy them.

The aim of the activities is 2 fold. One they will be activities using things already available in most households. And 2 I will try and share why the activity is good for your child and what all areas of development it supports.

Here is our list of activities for now

1. Water…… Its not that cold anymore in most parts of the world. Let you child play with water. If you are scared of the mess, you can do this during bath time. Children need to pour water. Pour from 1 container to another. Use sponges to dip in water and then squeeze that water out. This helps in developing a child’s eye-hand co-ordination, makes then understand the process of estimation, and thh tactile stimulation provided with water is good for development.
2. Playdoh…… It is one of the most amazing experiences to be able to use ones hands to make something. The children love this activity as much as you and I do. It is rare to find and individual who doesn’t enjoy this one. If you don’t have playdoh you can use dough (i usually don’t suggest this as its food and we need it to fill tummies in the world). Rolling, patting, cutting (with toy knives), twisting are all this actions that we can do. Using these we can…. write numbers and alphabets, make shapes, make rounds and count them, create simple articles like plates, glasses, spoons, vases, and use them in pretend play. Oh this has so many positives that it will take a a bit to list them. The pressure of hands, fingers and wrist joint makes these more strong for our children. Holding, breaking and creating shapes is an important step that helps children develop writing. This encourages children to be creative and explore ideas. It gives them the freedom to create and destroy to re-create. It also teaches them the concept of permanency and lack of it.
3. Laundry….. Please don’t mistake this to be child labour. I am NOT asking you to make the children wash all the household clothes. All I am saying is when you do household tasks involve the children. Children love to wash clothes, but I leave that up to you parents to decide if they can do that or not. At least let them help you spread the clothes to dry. Once dry (air or in a dryer) they can surely help you fold the clothes. You are welcome to teach them easy ones like napkins, leggings, underpants etc but do remember whatever they do accept it and you don’t need to redo them. Apart from keeping children busy this really often becomes a good movement for large muscles of children (just you watch them stand, spread a cloth on floor and then walk all around it before any form of folding begins :)). This also helps children understand the concepts of half and full, up and down, right and left. Over and above this the children learn to care for their own things. If they keep the clothes in their closets (t least the articles that are in lower shelves) they learn the concept of sorting i.e. all shirts go in pile 1, pants in pile 2, napkins in pile 3 etc.
4. Music…. Rhythms and music often comes easier to children than it does to some of us. They enjoy music in most of its forms. It is important to listen to music. I wonder how many of us know that the closer a rhythm is to our heartbeat the higher is the soothing effect of that musical piece. Listen, hum, sing, sing loudly, move to the music. Do whatever pleases you but please add music to your daily activity. If possible at least some of the music must be without any video. LISTEN and enjoy, you don’t need to Watch. Music helps calm children and us. It helps them learn many new words and musical patterns. It increases childrens’ listening memory and comprehensions, skills that many schooling activities are based on.
5. Beans from the kitchen…….. Take some beans, peas and legumes from the kitchen and we can create many many activities using them. I suggest take a handful of any 2 varieties and keep them in a separate box so we can use them again and again rather than using a different lot each time. (rajma and white channa work well because of the size). During these activities adult supervision is a must as I do not want any mishaps with children sticking these little things up their nose and all. We can use these to sort into different bowls (1 for beans and 1 for peas), we can also use them to make patterns. We create a pattern like bpbpbpbp and ask the child to recreate. some examples of patterns are….. bpbpbpbp, or bbppbbppbbpp, or bbpbbpbbp, or bp bp bp, or pppbbpppbb and you can make anything else you please. These activities teach our children the concept of same and different, sorting and keeping same things in a group, grouping. It helps develop their fine motor skills and eye hand co-ordination both of which are pre-requisite skills for writing work.

5 activities that can be used in ways suggested above or used as a basis and new activities created by all you creative parents. Enjoy your time with children and stay safe.

Scheduling while at home

Hi everyone

Doesn’t matter what part of the world you maybe in, we are all in more or less the same place…… our Home. Prayers for everyones safety. May these time pass soon and you and your family stay safe.

While we are all home, some maybe working (most likely people in essential services), others working from home and some not working a job but we all have our children home. The fact is that schools all over are closed and we don’t know for how long. So today I will talk about scheduling and why it is important while you and your children are home.

24 hours in a day. With same people, however much you love them, can have impacts we never imagined it will. Mental health workers from all over the world are sharing concerns over the changed scenario leading to wobbling the balance and emergence of new dynamics. To be able to manage fruitfully the 16 non sleeping hours Scheduling/ time tables are an important tool. I will list some of its uses.

1. It helps us understand what to expect. From the day and from ourselves during that day.
2. It helps us remain in a kind of a pattern that helps our brain and body to remain calm.
3. It helps us intermittently be stationary (study, watch TV) and be active (walk, exercise, dance,).
4. It helps us schedule the breaks our mind needs.

Some things to keep in mind especially when we create schedules for children.

1. A parent can see what they want their children to be engaging in as a larger picture (example you decide to do 1 new activity per week or introduce a skill every week).
2. The child can become a part of this planning and there by develop the various skills required for decision making.
3. It give us a chance to know that only as many hours a day can be spent doing some stuff. Other times encourage us to be innovative.
4. Please remember all schedules must provide for “free” times. Where nothing is set and one can choose to do what they want.
5. All schedules must also be flexible enough to en corporate a sudden change of plan, and emergency (god forbid) and moods. 🙂
6. Physically the more attractive a time table is higher are the chances that we adhere to it.

Some things to add in a child’s time table are study time (of course), screen times, learn new skills (cooking, stitching, knitting, changing a bulb), possibility of learning a new language, art and craft, personal daily tasks, daily tasks of the house (taking out garbage), some physical workout (yoga, walking, exercising, dancing), some games, creativity time (story creation or writing time), some form of music (listening or singing) and anything else that brings a smile to your face.

The time is difficult but remember you can make the most of it if you want to. Stay Home Stay Safe everyone.